Day 6: In the Tits of Luxury

That morning I get a wake up call at 5AM. The bartender I picked up
the night before is sleeping next to me. And I have an 8am flight to
get to. I kick her out (in the nicest possible way, of course), throw
everything in my bag, and go.

I grab a cab, I'm running late, and of course he overcharges me.
After I pay him, I'm down to my last 100 baht (3 dollars), so I run to
the ATM. The ATM just beeps and spits my card back out...what the
hell? I go to 2 other ATMs and the same thing happens.

Panic begins to stir in my belly. No time to screw with the ATMs, I
have to make my flight! I go to check in, I paid for my ticket back
in the States, so this should go seamlessly...

Wrong! It seems that in Thailand, when you check in to a flight, you
have to present the card you used to pay for it.
I had left that card back home because it was full, and figured a full
credit card wouldn't do me any good here. So I had to buy another
ticket.

I whip out my last remaining credit card with about 200 bucks left on
it, it just covers my new ticket, and I'm off to Krabi!

The trip to the resort is an hour by plane, then 2 hours by car and 2
ferrys.
It's pretty remote. The whole way there , I'm worrying about why my
ATM card isn't working anymore.

Then I arrive. Langham place is the name of the resort, on Koh Lanta
Island. And the place looks like Shangi-La! It's beautiful! As I
step out of the van, 2 beautiful Thai women greet me with a frozen,
peppermint-scented towel to cool and refresh my face, and a fresh,
pink, coconut smoothie, to welcome me!

My worries fade away as I look past the open-air lobby to the villa
beyond. Then one of the women tells me...that my card has been
rejected. Fear grips my spine. I call Phil, and ask if I can but it
on his card, since he made the reservation. He's cool with it, and
I'm handed the key to my cottage. Whew!

Inside the villa is indescribable. You are waited on hand and foot.
There are 4 swimming pools, 3 are infinty pools that overlook the
Andaman Sea. Free fresh fruit in the room (ever had a tree-ripened
banana? It's nothing like those gassed-to-artificially-ripen things
you find in the supermarket) fresh flowers on the bed everyday, robes,
slippers, a rain-shower at one end of the bathroom, and a huge tub,
long enough for me to drown in, an the other end.
You've heard of the lap of luxury?
This place is the Tits of Luxury, and I'm nestled squarely between them!

Everything is provided in the best possible way, on a lush tropical
island with white sand beaches. The only thing, I still have no money.

I call Bank of America, and they tell me that there had been a
security breach with a batch of cards, so as a security measure, the
cancelled then all, and sent out new ones. I explained the situation
to them, and they agreed the send me emergency cash. Got a foot and
hand massage, charged it to the room, and wend to sleep knowing things
would be ok..or so I thought.

Jason Phipps
Art Director
Big Boss Creative
(818)841-8900